God is Good!!

Sooo... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've really started meditating on God's word a whole lot more lately, and am actually seeing the benefits from that. It's weird, and a real "mystery" :) how when you come upon different difficult situations in your life, God speaks to you through scripture that you have read and thought about. That's happened twice this week already. JP got these books for the high school and junior high classes, the book is called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Chan is the minister of a very large church out in Simi Valley, CA. His ideas are amazing, but more so, because probably 40% of the book is direct scripture. After watching one of his videos online, I actually found myself on my knees in my office at work praying. I feel like my life is changing dramatically for the good, and I'm really trying to let God take over every aspect of my thoughts. That's my biggest issue, what goes on inside of me... I'm messed up, and I'll be the first to admit that... Now that I've realized how much, it's extremely painful to invite God into those parts and fix it. Mainly because even though He already knows what's in there, I'm ashamed that I've even tried to hide those things from Him. I've found that I'm more emotional in front of God, and honestly I hurt more now. In a way I think it's because a lot has been going on family and friend wise with deaths, sicknesses and a friend who is probably going to be dead before the end of this week. It's bitter sweet... All of this happened on my way to TCTC, and more news came down over the weekend. In spite of all of those events, the weekend was amazing, and more so the time I was able to reflect and be in God's presence. On top of all of that, 3 people got baptized in the pool at the hotel, one more on Sunday night, and two more within the next week or so! All of them were in junior high except for one. I'm at a loss for words, and all I can do is praise God for everything that happened this past weekend. I'm so excited for this upcoming book study... My prayer is that in the end, the kids will desire to have a personal relationship with God. A desire to read His word. A desire to talk with Him constantly. Finally, a desire to be the city on a hill! Things are hard right now, and that is no understatement! The really crazy thing about it all, is that I'm thankful, and not depressed. I've never experienced gratitude in a time of trouble. The world says that I have every right to be down and depressed and even do things that are out of the norm and it's okay, because I need a release. Maybe a few years ago I would have taken that advice, but I don't want any of that. I want to thank God, and I want to talk with Him. My true desire right now, in this moment, is that I could see Him physically. That maybe He could put His arm around me and just hang out for a little while. With all of that being said, I'm happy... I don't know where any of this is going... It's pretty exciting actually! I know that for the time being, nothing else matters. I still have a long way to go, but I want to do what I can, to make what ever kind of difference that I can make in my short insignificant time on this earth. I want to continually be grateful for whatever part that I am to play, and am truly remorseful for all the time I've wasted thus far.

God is good!

Until next time...